Lime Rock’s F1 April Fool

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Lime Rock’s claim to have agreed terms with Bernie Ecclestone to host a second round of the world championship in America was one of yesterday’s better April Fools jokes.

The operators of the 1.5-mile course in Lakeville, Conneticut, put out a press release yesterday attributing some amusing quotes to Bernie Ecclestone about circuit owner Skip Barber:

“I met Skip in Monaco back in the mid-70s, when I was running Brabham and Max [Mosley] was trying to stick Skip into that crap-can March. When I heard from one of my many minions that America’s New England region didn’t have an F1 race, well, I was shocked. So I rang up Skip.”

The release continued:

“Ecclestone, who had gathered 241 racing reporters around his feet inside his quaint $650 million cabin in Askwith, Worchestershire-on-Gloucestershire-no-thanks-to-Shropshire, England, also revealed that Formula One Management will not charge Lime Rock Park the normal one-year rights fee of $21 billion. ‘Instead, Skip’s going to buy me dinner at Mizza’s Pizza – and he has to change the oil in one of my Range Rovers,’ Ecclestone said.

“On the other side of the Atlantic, Barber said, ‘As much as I would like an F1 race at Lime Rock, my handshake agreement with Bernie does not include an oil change. We’re still negotiating. I think rotating the Hankooks on his Wolseley 16/60 is sufficient, really.’

“Because of this groundbreakingly different business case, Barber said he will set ticket prices accordingly.

“‘I’m thinking $12.50, plus the 10 percent Connecticut Amusement-Admission Tax, for a three-day pass,’ Barber said.

“Ecclestone was quoted further as saying, ‘I am also very excited to bring my 75-meter motorhome, Helga’s Revenge, to the infamous Lime Rock infield camping area for the Formula One race. I personally love the painfully passé ‘No Fear’ bumper stickers you see on the campers. I mean, literally, they’re stuck to their arses. As well, the plush pigs along the camping area’s roadsides really do make me feel at home. Well, at least one or two of them.'”

Cramming 22 F1 cars onto a circuit that’s more than half a mile below regulation length would definitely make for entertaining racing – certainly enough to justify a $13.75 entry fee!

MRTI: Telitz gets creative to help racing career

Photo: Indianapolis Motor Speedway, LLC Photography
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To say that Belardi Auto Racing’s Aaron Telitz has endured a difficult start to the 2018 Indy Lights Presented by Cooper Tires season would be an understatement. The Wisconsin native only completed four corners through the first three races – Races 1 and 2 at St. Petersburg, and Race 1 at Barber Motorsports Park – with St. Pete being especially problematic.

He took the pole for Race 1, but a crash during qualifying for Race 2 prevented him from actually starting. What’s more, the damage was so severe that the Belardi team needed a brand new chassis, with Telitz’s Dallara IL-15 damaged beyond repair.

They also had to borrow a car from Carlin for Race 2, but Telitz’s race ended after he got tangled up with Victor Franzoni in Turn 2 on Lap 1.

With the damage bill well into the six figures as a result, Telitz has taken to some unique, or rather, creative ways to raise money in the aftermath to help cover the costs. “Creative,” in this case, meaning Telitz is using his art skills.

An artist in his spare time, Telitz has begun selling his own original paintings to help raise money.

 “I’ve been to a lot of art shows and I see stuff and I go, ‘Holy cow, someone’s going to pay a thousand dollars for that thing?’” Telitz quipped in a story posted on the Milwaukee Journal.

In discussing his artistic abilities, Telitz added, “I’m working at getting better. I’d like to be able to paint some animals, those types of things. I got a request from Alexander Rossi to see if I could paint his dog. Unfortunately I can’t do that yet.”

Further, in a partnership with The Styled Garage, Telitz is selling his own merchandise, and accepting donations, to help his cause.

Telitz finished fourth in Race 2 at Barber on Sunday, and sits seventh in the Indy Lights championship, 59 points behind leader Pato O’Ward.

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